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Maybe they'd have to hold each other when it rose, all organe and full and close. Maybe that's where our romantic notions about the moon first came from. Two people holding each other to keep their hearts from breaking, because everybody they knew was dying in the cold rocks and dust piles a quarter million miles away...
The Brothers K
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søndag, august 31, 2003
Let's see, four things to blog about. And I have time tonight so they'll all show up. Yay!
First off, I would like you to parktake in a little piece of wisdom that Dave & I realized: Sharing chapstick is the ultimate social faux paus in a society paranoid of germs. Now, this in and of itself is not so profound. But let's think about it from all the possible angles, and I'll show you how unhappiness tenfold results from each.
First, let's look at it from the perspective of the receiver of the chapstick. You have so many possible blunders! To begin, there is the Question Of The Lips Or The Finger. That is, should you just apply the chapstick straight onto your lips, or should you use a finger to gather some and then use the finger to apply it to your lips? Think of all the germs! Putting it straight onto your lips means that you directly transfer the germs from the giver to your lips, as well as putting the germs from your lips - which presumably come from (gasp) inside your mouth - onto their chapstick. Yick! Looks like that option is out. But, think about where your finger has been. When was the last time you washed your hands? I bet it wasn't right before you glopped some chapstick onto it. I frankly am more fearful of the germs on my fingers than the germs on my lips, which have not been picking my nose or touching doorknobs or wiping my bottom. So what do I do, if I want to avoid BOTH transferring my germs to my friend, AND receiving hers?? Apparently, nothing.
Second, as the offerer of chapstick, there is absolutely nothing you can do that will not offend your friend. If you are using your chapstick, and offer none to your friend (ostentatiously concerned for their health), they will be offended at you lack of an offer. If however you are using it and do offer it to your friend, they will be offended that you wish you pass your germs onto them, perhaps giving them a disease in the process. If you have chapstick and someone asks for it, but you are afraid of their unknown germ status and refuse, they will be offended and label you selfish. But of course you don't actually want to give them the chapstick, for fear for their health and yours.
As you can see, the Problem Of The Chapstick is a social issue which could very well bring destruction upon all. So, what can YOU do? Just say no to chapstick!
Well, I was also going to write about my compulsive and ritual cleansing (simultaneously of self & space), the party/birthdays, and my rommates, but I think I shall take a blog break. Don't change the channel - we'll be right back! :)
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